TOGETHER IN GOD'S LOVE
Updated: Jan 16, 2020
VOL. 1 NO. 2 MAY 2019
BY: PASTOR JEFF ELISCUPIDEZ OF VICTORY CHURCH
Looking back after 23 years of my marriage, I just realized that falling in love is easy. What's difficult is staying in love. Kaya siguro may katagang labor of love. You have to work at it because it will not always be a bed of roses.
Proverbs 18:22 says, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord."
But when you look at what's happening in the marriages in the world, parang kabaliktaran yung nangyayari. In America, one out of two marriages ends up in divorce. Sa Pilipinas naman, 28 couples per day ang nagpa-file ng annulment. May mga mag-asawa naman na nagsasama ngunit wala nang intimacy at pagmamahalan sa isa't isa. Bakit ganoon? Kung favor galing kay Lord ang marriage, how come miserable ang karamihan ng mga mag-asawa? Tatanggapin nalang ba natin ang mapait na realidad na ito?
The Bible says that there is hope in this kind of situation, basta't isapuso at isaisip natin ang mga sumusunod:
Unang-una, we need to be aware that there's an enemy out there whose primary goal is to destroy marriages. From day one palang way back in the Garden of Eden, yun na ang number one agenda niya sa unang mag-asawa na si Adan at Eba. Alam nya kasi na family is the basic unit of society, so when you destroy a marriage, you can destroy a nation.
So pag aware tayo that there's an enemy to fight, dapat hindi tayo mag-divide, bagkus dapat tayong mag-unite. The Bible says that two shall become one, so we should face all the challenges and trials na ipupukol sa atin ng kaaway, na magkahawak-kamay, at hindi magkahiwalay.
Laying the Right Foundation
Foundation is very important in anything that we are trying to build, whether it's a house, or a building, or in this case, a marriage. In every aspect, the foundation matters.
If the foundation is not set right, it will be costly. Imagine the cost to a faulty foundation in marriage. It cannot be quantified in Pesos. But the damage in a broken family is so costly emotionally, physically and psychologically. That is why we need to have the right foundation in a marriage.
But before discussing the right foundation, let's first go to the faulty foundations.
MONEY - Marami ang naniniwala na pera ang solusyon sa lahat ng problema nil. In fact maaaring sumagi sa isip nila, "Kung mayaman kang sana ako, hindi sana 'ko hiniwalayan ng asawa ko." Pero kung totoo yun, sana walang mayayaman ang naghihiwalay.
Sabi nga sa 2 Timothy 6:17, "Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain." Therefore, wealth is uncertain and money is not an assurance of a successful marriage.
CHILDREN - Isa sa primary goals ng mga mag-asawa ay bumuo ng pamilya. Hanggang sa matuklasan nila na isa sa kanila ay wala kapasidad makapagbigay ng anak. Kadalasan, isa ito sa mga sanhi ng panlalamig ng isang partido. Feeling nila kung walang anak, wala ng purpose pa ang marriage nila.
Sa kabilang banda, ang nabibiyayaan ng anak, kadalasan ay habambuhay nang isinusuot ang father o mother role. Naging child-centric homes na at panay anak nalang ang atensyon ng pamilya. Kaya kadalasan, nawawala na ng intimacy ang mag-asawa dahil na focus na lahat ng energy sa pagiging magulang instead na mag-asawa. Sa una'y parang walang mali, until maramdaman ng isa sa partido na wala nang atensyon na naibibigay ang asawa.
Jesus Christ is the Sure Foundation
The only foundation that is certain for us and for our marriage is Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 3:11 says, "For no one can lay any foundation other than one already laid, which is Jesus Christ." Pag si Hesus ang pundasyon mo, he will give you the wisdom on how to run your marriage.
You will learn contentment, knowing that God is our Provider. We will not put our trust in our bank account. Once we have Christ as our foundation, we will be set free from fear of lack, poverty mentality, and fear of the future, dahil ipinangako nya sa salita niya, "Never will I leave you, nor forsake you." Pag si Hesus ang foundation mo, you will learn how to love unconditionally, knowing that you are not married to a perfect person. You will give allowances for mistakes.
As husband, you will love your wife as Jesus loved His church by dying for her. Your wife is a favor from God, and your primary role is to love her unconditionally.
As wife, you will learn how to honor and respect your husband and submit to him as he himself submits to Christ. You will learn to trust God that He is at work in your husband to be the man that God called him to be.
If we have Jesus as the foundation of our marriage, we will both treat it as a covenant more than as a contract. It is not just a physical union but a divine one that will lead us to be faithful to our spouse. Bibigyan nya tayo ng lakas para labanan ang pagiging mapusok sa panahon ng kahinaan natin.
So let us remember that if we are in Christ, we are more than conquerors. Greater is he who is in us, than he who is in the world. God bless you. [K]